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iliaTitle: Ten Reasons Why Peter Petrelli Doesn't Paint
Rating:PG-13ish
Summary: Postulation: Mix Hiro's ability to transcend time and space with Isaac's seer abilities and what do you get? One confused Peter, a sardonic Claude and this collection of one-shots. [Multiple Crossovers]
1. Anachronism (Heroes/Doctor Who)
Disclaimer: Characters: Not mine. Rabid/Insane Bunny: Mine.
--------
“What is it?”
Peter was scrutinizing his latest attempt with Isaac’s power with a perplexed expression.
“Kids these days. No culture. No history,” Claude remarked caustically, “It’s a Police Call Box like it says. They were used in the 60’s to call for help or detain criminals.”
“If they were used in the 60’s why the hell is it popping up in a painting of the future?” Peter shot back with as much sarcasm as he could manage.
“It means, genius, that you’re obviously not harnessing the painter’s power properly,” Claude criticized mockingly.
Peter frowned.
“All right emo boy; enough standing around and playin’ with your paints. Time for some actual practice.”
Peter groaned.
2. Cat-Boy? (Heroes/Inuyasha)
Disclaimer: I can only claim the cracktastic plot, not the characters.
--------
“Is that a cat-boy? Have you been drinking while I’ve been out?” Claude questioned with somewhat amused disbelief.
“I don’t know what the hell it is. I think I should send it to Hiro; he could probably read the script at the bottom,” Peter mused aloud.
The pair considered the painting for a moment longer.
A teenage looking boy with long white hair, feral gold eyes, and triangular ears atop his head was hoisting an unbelievably large sword on his shoulder.
Peter sighed, “I think I should stop trying to mess with Isaac’s power.”
“Oh no you don’t! You are going to gain mastery over every little trick in your bag. Starting now!”
3. Senshi (Heroes/Sailor Moon)
Disclaimer: Unless an approximate decade of being a fan gives me rights then I still own nothing.
--------
“You’re supposed to be painting the future not your wet dreams,” Claude sniped in annoyance.
Peter glared sullenly.
“It is not a wet dream,” he snarked.
Though privately he could see where Claude was coming from.
Gracing the canvas was a group of women. All different heights and coloring. The only thing they had in common was that they were are devastatingly gorgeous and they were all wearing similarly cut uniforms, albeit with different color schemes.
Uniforms that left very little to the imagination.
Short skirts showcased long legs, emphasized by heels or boots. Tight white tops with large bows drew attention to dangerous curves.
“If you say so,” Claude smirked.
Peter pouted.
4. Draculina (Heroes/Hellsing)
Disclaimer: Vampires, Mimics, Brits OH MY! They're not mine! Though, Peter's alleged fixation is all my doing.
--------
“Are we goin’ to ‘ave to address this thing you’ve got goin’ for blondes?” Claude leered.
“I keep telling you it’s not working! We should be doing something productive! This is getting us nowhere!” Peter’s frustration was rising.
“Oh, I dunno it’s keepin’ me pretty amused. Didn’ know you had such a fixation especially considering the current keeper of your affections,” Claude teased somewhat maliciously.
Peter averted his gaze from the rather lurid picture; the well endowed blonde in a rather lascivious parody of a police uniform that emphasized more than it covered, was toting a rather large cannon which could be considered rather…suggestive.
Most striking were her crimson eyes, not to mention her sharp fangs.
5. Pirates? (Heroes/BtVS)
Disclaimer: If I even tried to claim any ownership I'd be torn to shreds by rabid fans.
--------
“Why the hell are you painting pirates?” Claude questioned acerbically.
“He’s not a pirate,” Peter snapped.
That much was obvious with the modern clothes.
“There’s your token blonde though,” Claude commented tauntingly.
Peter ignored him.
The short blonde was wielding a wicked looking curved weapon, her being suffused in a passionate red. She was flanked by a serene red-head outlined in bright white and a glowing green brunette to her left. The previously mentioned not-pirate, shining a warm yellow and an older looking scholarly type pulsing rich cerulean waves were on her opposite side.
Across the top, the word ‘Slayer’ in gothic script. Next to the red-head an elegant rendition of ‘Witch’. ’Key’ identified the brunette in intricate characters. ‘Protector’ scrolled downed parallel to the one-eyed man in a solid no-nonsense font. The oldest male was branded ‘Watcher’ in distinguished lettering.
6. Inferno (Heroes/Hellboy)
Disclaimer: Well, I was watching it on FX while writing the others and guess what...my name was nowhere on the credits page.
--------
“I think you’ve finally got the hang of it Petey-boy!” Claude crowed in a not very complimentary tone.
A woman, stark black hair, electric blue eyes. Enveloped in bright cobalt flames.
“I doubt it,” Peter muttered.
The woman could possibly be one of them.
The red skinned demon thing behind her with horns and a prehensile tail, however, was obviously not.
“Well, at least she’s not blonde.”
Peter glared murderously.
7. Wand-Waving and Bathrobes (Heroes/HP)
Disclaimer: Nope, still doesn't belong to me.
--------
“Are you still on that? I thought we both finally agreed it was a waste of time?”
“I…it’s important.”
“How is painting a bunch of teenagers dressed in bathrobes, waving little sticks around important?”
“…”
“I thought so. Now get to the roof. We have actual work to do.”
8. Chappa'ai (Heroes/Stargate)
Disclaimer: I think SG-1 would object to being owned by me in any form or manner. Especially Jack and Daniel. They have warrants out against me.
--------
“You’re kidding right? ’M not goin’ through this song an’ dance again,” one might have called Claude’s tone whining had he been a lesser man.
“Then don’t look,” Peter muttered with no little amount of annoyance.
“Could use another dose of humor at your expense. Never gets old that,” Claude jeered.
“You can laugh all you want if you can tell me what the hell I’ve painted,” he grumbled.
“I’d tell you what you’re paintin’ if it made any bloody sense!”
Peter couldn’t contest that.
After all, what does it mean when you have a standing stone circle covered in glyphs, emitting an explosion of water?
And it’s not as if whatever language titled the piece helped, it looked to be Egyptian.
“I give up,” Peter growled.
9. Nonsense (Heroes/LotR)
Disclaimer: I can't even claim Claude's snark! Much less the genius that is Tolkien's masterpiece.
--------
“Thought you said you were givin’ up Petey-boy?”
“…”
“I give you time to rest that dashing head of yours and you waste it paintin’ pictures that make no sense?” Claude attempted again to bait the young man.
“It…calms me. I don’t get any other images or thoughts when I do this.”
“Be that as it may, doesn’t help when you get frustrated because you’re paintin’ nonsense. Though maybe that’s it, you’re thinking nonsense so you paint nonsense,” Claude smirked wickedly.
Peter ignored him.
“See, like this. What purpose could it possible serve to draw some gold ring with gibberish written about it? And what’s with the eye? Nonsense. Complete and utter trash.”
Peter couldn’t disagree.
10. Mutated Lizard (Heroes/Godzilla)
Disclaimer: Can we say 'out of left field'? Yet it still does not belong to me. Shame that.
--------
“That’s it, after this, no more paints! I refuse to let you go out and get more. S’nothin’ but a waste of time we don’t bleedin’ have!” Claude was at it again.
So was Peter.
The opalescence of his eyes receded.
“Is that a giant lizard attacking New York?!”
“Why so it is. Good goin’ Petey-boy. You’re not goin’ nuclear you’re prophesizin’ its bloody end at the hand of a mutated dinosaur.”
Rating:PG-13ish
Summary: Postulation: Mix Hiro's ability to transcend time and space with Isaac's seer abilities and what do you get? One confused Peter, a sardonic Claude and this collection of one-shots. [Multiple Crossovers]
1. Anachronism (Heroes/Doctor Who)
Disclaimer: Characters: Not mine. Rabid/Insane Bunny: Mine.
--------
“What is it?”
Peter was scrutinizing his latest attempt with Isaac’s power with a perplexed expression.
“Kids these days. No culture. No history,” Claude remarked caustically, “It’s a Police Call Box like it says. They were used in the 60’s to call for help or detain criminals.”
“If they were used in the 60’s why the hell is it popping up in a painting of the future?” Peter shot back with as much sarcasm as he could manage.
“It means, genius, that you’re obviously not harnessing the painter’s power properly,” Claude criticized mockingly.
Peter frowned.
“All right emo boy; enough standing around and playin’ with your paints. Time for some actual practice.”
Peter groaned.
2. Cat-Boy? (Heroes/Inuyasha)
Disclaimer: I can only claim the cracktastic plot, not the characters.
--------
“Is that a cat-boy? Have you been drinking while I’ve been out?” Claude questioned with somewhat amused disbelief.
“I don’t know what the hell it is. I think I should send it to Hiro; he could probably read the script at the bottom,” Peter mused aloud.
The pair considered the painting for a moment longer.
A teenage looking boy with long white hair, feral gold eyes, and triangular ears atop his head was hoisting an unbelievably large sword on his shoulder.
Peter sighed, “I think I should stop trying to mess with Isaac’s power.”
“Oh no you don’t! You are going to gain mastery over every little trick in your bag. Starting now!”
3. Senshi (Heroes/Sailor Moon)
Disclaimer: Unless an approximate decade of being a fan gives me rights then I still own nothing.
--------
“You’re supposed to be painting the future not your wet dreams,” Claude sniped in annoyance.
Peter glared sullenly.
“It is not a wet dream,” he snarked.
Though privately he could see where Claude was coming from.
Gracing the canvas was a group of women. All different heights and coloring. The only thing they had in common was that they were are devastatingly gorgeous and they were all wearing similarly cut uniforms, albeit with different color schemes.
Uniforms that left very little to the imagination.
Short skirts showcased long legs, emphasized by heels or boots. Tight white tops with large bows drew attention to dangerous curves.
“If you say so,” Claude smirked.
Peter pouted.
4. Draculina (Heroes/Hellsing)
Disclaimer: Vampires, Mimics, Brits OH MY! They're not mine! Though, Peter's alleged fixation is all my doing.
--------
“Are we goin’ to ‘ave to address this thing you’ve got goin’ for blondes?” Claude leered.
“I keep telling you it’s not working! We should be doing something productive! This is getting us nowhere!” Peter’s frustration was rising.
“Oh, I dunno it’s keepin’ me pretty amused. Didn’ know you had such a fixation especially considering the current keeper of your affections,” Claude teased somewhat maliciously.
Peter averted his gaze from the rather lurid picture; the well endowed blonde in a rather lascivious parody of a police uniform that emphasized more than it covered, was toting a rather large cannon which could be considered rather…suggestive.
Most striking were her crimson eyes, not to mention her sharp fangs.
5. Pirates? (Heroes/BtVS)
Disclaimer: If I even tried to claim any ownership I'd be torn to shreds by rabid fans.
--------
“Why the hell are you painting pirates?” Claude questioned acerbically.
“He’s not a pirate,” Peter snapped.
That much was obvious with the modern clothes.
“There’s your token blonde though,” Claude commented tauntingly.
Peter ignored him.
The short blonde was wielding a wicked looking curved weapon, her being suffused in a passionate red. She was flanked by a serene red-head outlined in bright white and a glowing green brunette to her left. The previously mentioned not-pirate, shining a warm yellow and an older looking scholarly type pulsing rich cerulean waves were on her opposite side.
Across the top, the word ‘Slayer’ in gothic script. Next to the red-head an elegant rendition of ‘Witch’. ’Key’ identified the brunette in intricate characters. ‘Protector’ scrolled downed parallel to the one-eyed man in a solid no-nonsense font. The oldest male was branded ‘Watcher’ in distinguished lettering.
6. Inferno (Heroes/Hellboy)
Disclaimer: Well, I was watching it on FX while writing the others and guess what...my name was nowhere on the credits page.
--------
“I think you’ve finally got the hang of it Petey-boy!” Claude crowed in a not very complimentary tone.
A woman, stark black hair, electric blue eyes. Enveloped in bright cobalt flames.
“I doubt it,” Peter muttered.
The woman could possibly be one of them.
The red skinned demon thing behind her with horns and a prehensile tail, however, was obviously not.
“Well, at least she’s not blonde.”
Peter glared murderously.
7. Wand-Waving and Bathrobes (Heroes/HP)
Disclaimer: Nope, still doesn't belong to me.
--------
“Are you still on that? I thought we both finally agreed it was a waste of time?”
“I…it’s important.”
“How is painting a bunch of teenagers dressed in bathrobes, waving little sticks around important?”
“…”
“I thought so. Now get to the roof. We have actual work to do.”
8. Chappa'ai (Heroes/Stargate)
Disclaimer: I think SG-1 would object to being owned by me in any form or manner. Especially Jack and Daniel. They have warrants out against me.
--------
“You’re kidding right? ’M not goin’ through this song an’ dance again,” one might have called Claude’s tone whining had he been a lesser man.
“Then don’t look,” Peter muttered with no little amount of annoyance.
“Could use another dose of humor at your expense. Never gets old that,” Claude jeered.
“You can laugh all you want if you can tell me what the hell I’ve painted,” he grumbled.
“I’d tell you what you’re paintin’ if it made any bloody sense!”
Peter couldn’t contest that.
After all, what does it mean when you have a standing stone circle covered in glyphs, emitting an explosion of water?
And it’s not as if whatever language titled the piece helped, it looked to be Egyptian.
“I give up,” Peter growled.
9. Nonsense (Heroes/LotR)
Disclaimer: I can't even claim Claude's snark! Much less the genius that is Tolkien's masterpiece.
--------
“Thought you said you were givin’ up Petey-boy?”
“…”
“I give you time to rest that dashing head of yours and you waste it paintin’ pictures that make no sense?” Claude attempted again to bait the young man.
“It…calms me. I don’t get any other images or thoughts when I do this.”
“Be that as it may, doesn’t help when you get frustrated because you’re paintin’ nonsense. Though maybe that’s it, you’re thinking nonsense so you paint nonsense,” Claude smirked wickedly.
Peter ignored him.
“See, like this. What purpose could it possible serve to draw some gold ring with gibberish written about it? And what’s with the eye? Nonsense. Complete and utter trash.”
Peter couldn’t disagree.
10. Mutated Lizard (Heroes/Godzilla)
Disclaimer: Can we say 'out of left field'? Yet it still does not belong to me. Shame that.
--------
“That’s it, after this, no more paints! I refuse to let you go out and get more. S’nothin’ but a waste of time we don’t bleedin’ have!” Claude was at it again.
So was Peter.
The opalescence of his eyes receded.
“Is that a giant lizard attacking New York?!”
“Why so it is. Good goin’ Petey-boy. You’re not goin’ nuclear you’re prophesizin’ its bloody end at the hand of a mutated dinosaur.”
