On the Consumption of a Wriggling Yellow Substance

[ilia]

Title: On the Consumption of a Wriggling Yellow Substance
Author: Lady Yueh
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jackie
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not. My. Doctor.
A/N: [Response to Five First Lines Challenge] using purplerhino's line.



It would have been easier to eat the jello-like substance if it didn't try to squirm its way across the plate.

Then again, it would be far more preferable if he didn't have to eat it at all.

In all his centuries roaming across the universe he could say, with absolute certainty, that he'd seen, smelled, consumed and even heard some of the most disgusting, unappetizing and completely disturbing things the universe had to offer as sustenance.

Most times there was little actual problem, he could appreciate the differences in biology and culture that made some species and groups create a certain dish, no matter how unappealing or fungus-infested. If not, he could decline the offering. Running worked if that didn't.

One of the few exceptions to these rules and, of course, the cause had to be known as Tyler.

The blame could be allotted in equal measures: Rose's pout, Rose's eyes (which both begged and demanded in equal turns), and his own inability to refuse previous stated enticements. Oh, Jackie's cooking should probably get a share of the guilt as well.

"Is it supposed to do that?" The Doctor whispered to an inappropriately amused Rose Tyler.

"It's jell-o!" she hissed. As if that explained everything.

"I know jell-o. I've had jell-o. That is not jell-o!" he shot back furiously.

"Just eat it!" she murmured vehemently.

Yet her own portion was stealthily deposited into a potted plant, with expert experience he noticed.

Was it his imagination or had the foliage shivered? Was that a cry of agonized pain?

On any other occasion he might be interested in the emergence of a new life form.

How things changed.

With his own considerable skills, he withdrew his sonic screwdriver.

Setting 246C, stun for gelatinous organisms.

Into his dimensionally transcendental pockets it went.

"Good?" Jackie prodded as she saw that his plate was empty.

He mustered his most convincing and sincere smile, the product of centuries of experience.

"Delicious."

Jackie nodded, satisfied.

And doled him out another portion.

Comments

[the-10thdoctor.livejournal.com]

Oooh, he's going to have a mess in his pocket later! *giggles*

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

[grins] Each and every object that enters the Doctor's pockets is immediately surrounded by static shield which inhibits direct contact with any other objects present in the pocket.

...

Not really but sounds impressive huh?

Personally, I think the Doctor's more concerned with the mess he's in now.

And wondering how transcendental his pockets really are.

Thanks for commenting!

[purplerhino.livejournal.com]

Because, you know, the phrase "having someone in your pocket" is really just a phrase.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

...Of course it is.

...or is it?

Didn't one of the earlier incarnations of the Master have some device that shrunk people to death? I'm probably wrong because I haven't actually seen any episodes but I've heard thinks...

And hey, there are innumerable species in the universe there could be mini-people. Liliputians had to come from somewhere!

[laughs]

[purplerhino.livejournal.com]

"Doctor, please tell me that's a banana in your pants."

"No, it's my little Willie."

"You're WHAT?"

::Pulls out a little man from dimensionally transcendental pocket. Man waves.::

"Martha, meet Willie. Willie this is Martha. Here Martha, would you like to hold my Willie?"

[rosa-acicularis.livejournal.com]

Was it his imagination or had the foliage shivered? Was that a cry of agonized pain?

In case you were wondering, this is when I lost it and just began to giggle helplessly.

Excellent comic timing through the whole piece. Love it.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

[laughs]

I had hoped it would be amusing and not too over the top. I'm glad it works.

Giggling helplessly is good! Burns calories. [snickers]

Thanks for the love!

[starlightmoonla.livejournal.com]

LOL That was hilarious! I agree that the part when The Doctor questioned the foliage's "cry of agonized pain" when I started laughing as well.

Cute story! Thanks for sharing!

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

...Poor potted plant. We scarcely knew its genus.

I aim to induce laughter.

And enjoy being associated with anything cute.

Thank you for commenting.

[cupati.livejournal.com]

I'd quote an amazing, hilarious part of it here, but I don't think you can fit the whole story into a comment.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

You can try. I don't mind.

[laughs]

Thank you,so very much. I'm blushing here! I don't think I've been called amazing before. S'very satisfying.

Thanks!

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

This was great - Poor potted plant!! And I love the idea of using the sonic screwdriver to zap it. I think I've eaten something like that before... :)

Much fun!



Um...damn...I hate to tell you this, but Rose would call it jelly. What you guys call jelly, we call jam. Just to be confusing... Doesn't take away from the story, it's just that Brits don't use the word...sorry!

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting!

Does that include the product Jell-O? As in gelatin? Or is it purely an American thing to call it by the product name?

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

It must be purely American - we call gelatin "gelatin" :) I got horribly confused the first time I heard it on an American drama. When 'jelly' to you is the wibbly stuff in a bowl, it's hard to imagine why people would spread it on their toast... ;)

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Okay. Got it. But I will now believe that Jackie, in a attempt to try her hand at making Jell-O Gelatin American-style, scarred poor Rose for life. [nods] That is my canon [read: delusion].

[yawns] Okies. Thanks. I'm off to bed.

[kesshin-shinobu.livejournal.com]

Dear Lord. I about giggled my head off. Hee. This was adorable, ladyyueh. Usually in Doctor Who fanfiction, it's the Doctor who does the "try this disgusting food!" schtick. It's nice to see the tables turned on him. :D

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad that it served to amuse you.

I thought it was funny that he could go all around the cosmos eating weird junk but that it was Jackie Tyler's cooking that posed the real threat.

Thanks for commenting!

[the-sandwalker.livejournal.com]

Setting 246C, stun for gelatinous organisms. = WIN

Well done, that was very cute! Thanks for participating!

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that line did it for you. [I love it too! I had the sentence on the tips of my fingers and it wouldn't emerge! I was so happy when it finally did.]

Thank you for your kind remarks.

[purplerhino.livejournal.com]

ROTFL! Excellent. He has a setting for that?

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

The Doctor has a setting for everything, or so his fans would have you believe. I'm sure that if the series continues on for much longer his screwdriver will evolve and be upgraded to ridiculous degrees [hopes really hard].

Thanks, I'm glad it gave you some laughs.